i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
