Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
