Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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