She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
