two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
