we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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