Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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