he wants to bone in the snuggie
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
