I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
