I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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