To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
