hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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