So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
