office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
