we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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