Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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