I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
