do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
