Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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