they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
