i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
