Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
