Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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