his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
