My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
