Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
