ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
