i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
