I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
