he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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