I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
