It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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