onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
