Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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