sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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