My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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