still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
