good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
