We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
