Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
