like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
