I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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