So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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