i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I would ride that face into the sunset
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
