Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
