Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
