From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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