yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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