I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
