6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
