What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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